How come we don't seem to talk about these integral parts of political families until after they're already pooping on the White House lawn? I tried to research just how the candidates stack up in the animal department and was left disappointed. There is a serious lack of information on potential executive pets. The little I did find was disturbing and revealing.

Does Barack Obama own any animals? I don't know because there is zero mention of any furry friends on his website. Mike Huckabee is too busy comparing gay marriage to pet marriage to visit his local SPCA. And Guiliani hates pitbulls!

Don't these candidates know that owning a pet is as American as apple pie? George Washington had 36 hounds! Abe Lincoln had a turkey, goats, pigs, cats, ponies, dogs AND a white rabbit! Do they want to go the way of Franklin Pierce? (Who is that you ask? Why he was the 14th president but no one cares because he was petless!)

Hillary Clinton helmed the tome "Dear Socks, Dear Buddy" but where are Socks and Buddy now? Buddy is in dog heaven after an unfortunate run in with a vehicle. But Socks, dear Socks, was given away! In light of Ellen's Iggy-gate, this isn't doing much for softening Hill's image. But at least I can trust her to a degree because at least she knows.

People who've never owned pets don't really get what it's like. They are the type of people who say, "Oh, that sucks...anyway..." when your dog gets hit by an SUV, rather than offer you their shoulder to cry on. If you've never held warm poo through a thinly plasticked hand, never sifted through litter or papered a birdcage, well you just wouldn't understand.

Pet-owning status should be ascertained along with religious affiliation and height. Studies show that people who have pets live longer, are less stressed and need medical attention less. Don't we want a leader who properly and efficiently manages stress...through pets? I think we do.

All I can say is gather your info before Election Day. And if Barack wins, do you think I can fit a puppy through the fence on Pennsylvania Avenue? I think he'll need it.